The Secret

For what seems like forever I was plagued by fear and insecurity. I doubted my abilities and my worth. I was afraid of rocking the boat. I didn't allow myself to be open and vulnerable with anyone. And eventually I started shutting down.

I shut down my emotions. I stopped voicing my opinion or views. I stopped reaching out. I made myself small and invisible. There was in a constant battle going on in my mind. I often sacrificed my needs and desires for everyone else.

That's no way to live.

I am slowly making my way back to myself. It's hard work! I have journaled like never before. I have spent a lot of time thinking and observing my own thoughts and actions. I have spent time in reflection. And I've cried myself to sleep many nights.

I haven't arrived, but I'm actively working on it. But I like myself!! I'm funny and a good listener. I like to help people and create things. I'm a good person. I don't go out of my way to hurt or offend people. I show everyone respect and give common courtesy  - treat others the way I'd like to be treated.

I don't have to be like everyone else to be liked or loved. I don't have to be a martyr to prove my worthiness. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I am in control of my choices and my happiness. It took me a long time to come to that realization. Better late than never!

The secret is learning to be yourself and not being afraid to shine! It's so simple, yet hard to implement especially if you're used to negative thought patterns. Change your thoughts. Get to know yourself. Work on your toxic traits.

Life is too short to be anything but happy!

Promises

I have been reading and reflecting a lot during quarantine. I came across a post on Instagram by  Dr. Nicole LePera @the.holistic.psychologist about self-betrayal and how you can heal from it by keeping small daily promises to yourself.

I have always put others needs ahead of my own, then wonder why I feel like crap. I regularly break promises to myself. What messages are these things sending? Not very good ones.

You can heal self betrayal by:

1. Keep one small promise to yourself every day

2. Celebrate your victories

3. If you break your promise keep it the next day

4. Repeat the mantra: "When I make a promise to myself, I keep it."

She gives examples of small promises:

-Wake up without hitting snooze

- Drink 1 glass of water each morning

- Mediate for 3 minutes

- Go for a walk for 10 minutes after dinner

- Go for a walk for 10 minutes after dinner 

- Journal every morning

- Do 5 minutes of stretching

- Dance to music first thing when you wake up

- Do 3 deep belly breaths

Small things that seem insignificant. Do it for 30 days, then add another promise. This is the path to self trust. 

I am choosing as my first promise to journal every day before bed for 30 days. 

What are you going to choose?

The At-Home Spa Day

What woman doesn't love to feel pampered? One day I will have a pampered spa day, but until then I create my own spa days at home.

Beforehand I like to make sure my bathroom is squeaky clean and there are fresh sheets on the bed. There is nothing like slipping into clean sheets with freshly saved legs! I also like to make sure I have everything on hand that I will need for my spa day.

• Epsom bath salts
• Baby oil
• Pumice stone
• Charcoal face scrub
• Nail polish remover
• Nail polish
• Nail clippers
• Nail file
• Shampoo & conditioner
• Moroccan hair oil
• Fresh razor blade in the razor
• Aveeno shave cream
• Facial moisturizer
• Candles
• Music
• Ice water to drink

On my at home spa day I spend a couple hours bathing & beautifying, but this year I am going to kick it up a notch a make a full day of pampering. I'll prepare as much as possible the day before by going to the grocery store for healthy meals and salad fixings. I will also put a pitcher of water to chill overnight in the fridge with fruits and herbs to infuse the water. 

Here's a great article about detox water with fruit & herb infused water recipes.  

I'm going to aim for once a month to do a full day immersion of being at a spa resort and will report in afterwards. 

Who's in?

I'd love to hear your ideas for at home spa days and your results from doing a full immersion day!

Tracy x

Simple Beauty

"A smile is the best makeup a girl can wear." - Unknown

For women, we focus so much on outside beauty. Marketing makes us feel less than so we will buy their products in an effort to become "beautiful".  But we already are in our own unique ways. 

I'm not saying makeup is bad or that we shouldn't use it, just that we need to realize how beautiful we already are. Makeup should enhance the beauty we already have, not be used as a facade - a mask - to hide who we really are.

I'll be honest with you - most days I am completely makeup free. It's just the easiest route. But, this falls under the area of self care and it's an area that I need to work on. 

I have started working on my skin. It's very dry/sensitive and I wasn't very happy with the wrinkles that were becoming more prominent. I started using the lowest dose of Retin-A 2-3 times a week, mixed with my moisturizer. 

In the future, I'd like to see a dermatologist to get an expert opinion on my skin and it's needs. 

I've always kept my makeup pretty basic and simple - but I'd like to improve my makeup game by using the best products for my needs and improving techniques. I watch makeup tutorials on YouTube, but I know it's just going to take practice.

I think I will commit to doing my makeup 3 times a week to start. 

Wash my face every night and continue to use my Retin-A 2 - 3 times a week.

Moisturize like my skin depends on it. (It does!)

What are your thoughts on simple beauty?

Are they any improvements you have recently made or would like to?

Tracy x

The Basics of Self Care

We all know how important it is to take care of ourselves, but do we heed the advice? I am, at 45, really starting to pay attention to my health but it would have been so much better if I had done this 20+ years ago. 

The basics of self care are very simple:

• 8 hours of sleep minimum
• Drink more water
• Move your body more
• Get fresh air & sunshine daily

If you're not a water drinker (me!), start small and work your way up. I started drinking 8 oz. of water each day for a week, then jumped to 16oz. the second week, 24 oz. the third week, and 32 oz the fourth week (where I'm currently at). 

If you are sedentary, start with 5-15 minutes of walking and slowly increase from there. Doing something is better than nothing at all. If you are walking outside, you're getting the benefit of fresh air & sunshine, too! 

And rest. Since my husband has become disabled and forced to retire early, we don't have a set schedule we have to adhere to. I have read that the more sleep you get before midnight the better it is for your body. I try to go to sleep at 10pm but it doesn't always happen. It's a work in progress and that's okay! Sleep is when your body recharges and repairs itself so it's super important. Prioritize sleep over your to-do list. That's what Kayla @not.so.consumed on Instagram does, so I'm following her lead. 

Of course, there is so much more to good health, but just start with the basics. When you get a handle on these, start looking at other things you can do to improve your health. 

Do you prioritize good health or do you need to work on this area?

I'm listening and cheering you on! x